The first thing I did today when I woke up was to look at the doorstep. Don't know why, but I actually felt a tinge of disappointment when there was nothing on the floor. Maybe I'm just too used to having surprises and now I am missing them. The heck. Don't know what I want myself.
Guess I should stop thinking at all. =)
Don't know what's going on; Don't know what to do; Don't know what not to do.
But I know I am kinda relieved right now having gotten over quizzes and tests until after reading week, which is approaching in a week's time. Can't wait.
A family member of mine just admitted into hospital yesterday because of dengue. Don't know what can I do except to pray that he'll be fine soon enough.
Don't know when will the snow melt away and grass be green again. But I wish spring to be here fast. I need some Greens and Reds and Yellows and Purples! I want to see the flowers blossom again. White feels so cold. Icy. Don't know why I feel happy this morning when I heard birds chirping. Plain joy swelled and I smiled while running to catch my first class. Psycho! Don't know why rain and thunder seldom, if not never, visit Toronto. I actually miss the sound of rain and the smell of dampness. Reminds me of Taiping and rainbow. And laksa!
Don't know why I keep dozing in chemistry and never dozed in calculus. Don't know why physics assignment is so troublesome. Already wishing that the deadline will never come when in fact, it has not been announced yet when.
Don't know if I should just stop crapping or go watch some drama or go to bed. Don't know if I should do my preparation for lab tomorrow instead. Don't know why time flies when I am lazing but time seems to freeze during class. Don't know why the names that appear in my inbox are no longer the same.
Don't know why things can get so complicated.
But I do know that I get to choose to live simply and happily.
And that's exactly what I am doing. =)
I wish everyone is too!
Yan
I once read about something rather meaningful and feel like sharing it with you... Not sure the exact phrases, but it goes something like this...
ReplyDelete"In life, no one is obligated to treat you well, except your parents. If they do, accept it with a smile. If they don't, never feel disappointed, because they are not required to in the first place. Do not expect too much of others. Expect more of yourself."
With this in mind, I find that we'll feel more grateful and come to appreciate the effort they put in more. Just a random thought that I wanna share... Yan, jia you ba!! :)
He loves you more than he loves himself. He always try to make you smile, no matter how upset he is. He always make fun of you because he likes to see your cute face when you are angry. He always think of things to tell you because he likes talking to you. He finds you everyday, every time because he needs to know you are safe always. He accompanied you every time even when you don't need because he is the one that need to be accompanied by you. He always stare at you because it is too comfortable to have his eyes looking at your eyes. He put his phone on his chest every night because he don't want to miss any chance to reply you. He knows he is not as important as him in your heart but he is still stubborn and keep on lying to himself that he still has a bit of chance.
ReplyDeleteHe gave you a simple life because you want it. To allow that to happen, he forced himself to turn back and continue on walking with his heart still attached on yours. He is rupturing yet he don't stop. He did so much because he wants you to be happy. The happier you are will definitely cause him more pain but he don't feel regret because he chose to do it.
He don't ask for anything from you. Just want you to live your preferred life. Talking about shells, you have a lot of shells in your life. The one in Malaysia is the one you preferred the most. It can provide you more sense of security, warm and comfort. The left away shell is rotting. Don't feel sorry because everything has its own expiry date. It is the cycle of life. Plants need thing to die so that they can keep on living. Live your simple happy life with the shell back there. Appreciate him.
=) whoever you are, peas.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate everything that you've said and I know how that person that you're speaking on behalf of feels.
I don't feel anywhere better either.
I just like you to know that it's not anyone else's decision for me to go with whoever. I don't know what I want, else this post won't exist in the first place. Give me some time, if you could. Thank you.
Yea, you have lots of choices. Your choice to choose which one you like. I was just crapping. Stay happy. ^^Smile Laugh Giggle..the remedy of all sorrow.. :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you know how he feels, coz u seemed to dont know a lot! Haha..
Cheers! Peas is just a lonely anonymous. =)