Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Stars in the dark

Maybe things are never as bad or as scary as imagined.

Going into the 2nd week of placement at Taiping Zoo. Even though it's not a bed of roses, it's not as intimidated as I thought, even if alone. Guess I am kind of lucky because it so happened that there are two other local students doing their internship at the zoo too. Hence, I have two unexpected companies. Better yet, they are two nice and friendly youngsters. Plus the veterinary officer, Dr. R who is funny and sneaky at times.

Yes, getting used to working in a government workplace is not easy. As Dr R said, working with the government will make a lazy person lazier and a hardworking person lazy. Sad truth. I wouldn't say I am a diligent person but when it comes to work, I rather have loads of work to do and complain about being tired than having nothing to do and feel so bored I can go nuts. The first few days during the long "nothing-to-do" hours, it felt like a waste of time. But now, with a slight change of perspective, the do-nothing time is spent reading reference books, touring around the zoo, or just take a break and have a chat. Although I'd still rather have something to do most of the time, coming to accept the way just how things work there makes me feel less imbalanced. Well, if anything, at least I know that this is not the kind of life I'm looking for in the future.

Learning what not to do is also a way of learning.

Initially, when bombarded with the many sarcastic criticisms about the director and his zero zoo management strategy, it didn't feel all that good. First, I haven't really got to know the director in person and it's all words from only one person. Second, I dislike people talking behind the back, more so when it's about somebody's wrongdoings. However, there are solid proofs that I can see with my own eyes, how some enclosures are built, how non-sensible some designs are, and how some animals are treated poorly when it could have been better. I guess it's frustration that Dr. R is trying to express, the frustration of not having the ability to do the right things even if he actually knows exactly what to do. The frustration of having a superior whose ego is so strong he refuses to take advice or admits faults. There are moments when two extreme opposing ideas have crossed my mind, (1) Just give up on the zoo it's hopeless (2) Restructure and get the most out of what the zoo has to offer, albeit with a lot of time and effort. I am thinking, maybe, this is what Dr. R has been going through for the past few years and that explains all the non-satisfaction he has with the zoo. Well, if anything, at least I know what not to do if I ever runs a zoo.

Everything is an experience.

Good or bad, everything in life is an experience and with every exposure to something new, we equip ourselves with a new reference for the future. Well, hopefully.
Good or bad, hang in there and find the tiniest joy in the things that you are stuck doing with at the moment for it will still be a part of your experience, like it or not.

It's a process.

We might not know yet where we will be in the future but the things that we see and experience now will guide us to where we want to be in due time. That's what I believe. I might not have a step-by-step plan laid out ahead of me, but I shall find out soon. Or maybe a plan is just too constricting for a nomad like me.

Little surprises along the way.

The unexpected Christmas break and the unexpected meeting with John reminds me that good things happen when we least expect it to.


You don't mess with me, life.
  Life keeps on unfolding.


Getting better,
Yan

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