Friday, November 13, 2015

沉淀

从考完试到现在终于有时间呆在房间静静的沉淀,中间隔了差不多一天半的时间。那一天半装载着的包括第一次去这么盛大的21岁生日派对,来宾范围包括黑到不能再黑的黑人、高到就算有肚腩也莫名好看的白人和像我这种安静躲在角落的亚洲人,还有去所谓的欢送会欢送两位不是这么熟悉的朋友。

老实说,如果你问我,我和生日的那位印度同学熟悉吗?我会回答你,不熟。可是想一想,那个在Dookie的晚上,当我自己一个人在黑黑的夜里躺在长椅上看星星时,然后他经过停下来和我聊天时... 那时候,虽然觉得要表达自己还是很难,可是却觉得eh,地球上竟然会有人停下来和我这样无聊的人聊天。不过,我还是觉得,我们不熟。哈哈哈。有时候会想,是我不想和人熟,还是我们真的不熟。

第二,说说今天去的欢送会。老实说,虽然那里每个人我都知道他们的名字,大概某个时候应该也曾经至少说过hi,除了那个高高的angmoh以外。可是,晃来晃去最后我找到了我最舒服的位置:烤炉前。哈哈哈。结果我发现烤鸡翅膀是我的第一直觉,在那很多人围在一起的聚会。哈哈哈!当然除了鸡翅膀以外,还是会有相对比较熟悉的朋友和比较不熟悉的朋友。

其实有时候,有点矛盾,一方面会觉得,这些人我们又不是很熟,干嘛邀请我;另一方面又会觉得,这些我觉得不是很熟的人竟然邀请我,又有点神奇。

其实真的,我们到底熟不熟啊。

Anyway,在房间安静的在浪漫黄灯下看完Inside Out后,突然想这样唠唠叨叨一下,因为发现自己很久没有认真的用华语来表达自己了,怕会慢慢变得尴尬,连看见自己的文字也尴尬。其实真的会有点恐怖,当你发现自己的用词可能会不小心被周围的人影响时。 她们每一句话后面加个“sia”的新加坡slang,有点可怕(所以我启动了小心不要被影响模式)。不是不喜欢她们的方式,只是还是想保持我的方式,因为发现我们的性格不太一样。和May Tze说我怕我会不会变得和她们一样有时候会在背后小小讽刺别人时,May Tze很肯定的说,不会的。因为我是我。Hmm。其实我也这样觉得。我的顽固个性,好像有点非一般,在那个随和的表面下。

其实真的,我只是想打发时间,逃避需要整理的生活。

这几天特别想吃炒粿条,加蛋加辣椒please。哈哈哈哈哈。

家里多了一只新狗狗,长得有点像Money,只是没有那个我很喜欢抚平的皱眉头和那双棕褐色的深邃眼睛。Hou Hou第一次给我看小狗的早上,有个白痴的人一边刷牙一边对着镜子边笑边流泪。原来,有些回忆,可以这么刻骨铭心。郑重介绍,Money的接班人,Hunter。

Hunter,Hou Hou取的名字,不关我的事。XD

我不听话的Money boy... 


开始觉得自己很长气的



Thursday, October 29, 2015

By my side

When you feel so shitty and you try to hide it from everyone then someone sees through your text messages and gives you a call. When you try to pretend like everything's fine but couldn't make yourself say anything. When you hear that familiar voice through the speaker and start laughing while your tears start flowing. When all you need is just someone who stands by your side and not questioning. When you thought you are grown up and strong enough now then you made some really stupid mistakes you can only laugh at yourself. When you know it's a small matter but you can't help yourself feeling so useless.

Then you feel comforted knowing someone out there will always be by your side no matter how imperfect you are. Then you toss and turn on the bed after clearing off your emotions and think rationally again. Then you wake up the next morning feeling refreshed and decide to handle whatever needs handling, rationally.

Because you know someone will be there for you no matter what and that keeps you strong.

Because we are so at ease when in front of each other.
No we are not the same, but we accept our differences.

Kumawo, cingu. heeeeeee... =目


Yan

Friday, October 23, 2015

Last day of 1st year

23/10/2015                    Friday                               Winter-like spring

The end. That's it.
Today marks the last day of class for my first year of DVM. There is nothing dramatic going on inside me, no OMG-it's-finals-I-am-screwed feeling or OMG-i'm-so-happy-it's-over feeling either. Rather, it feels more like ah,-I've-walked-so-far... Looking back, actually I don't even have to look back because those flashbacks of memories pop up into my mind at times without my permission anyway. It feels like yesterday when I would walk out of Wetmore hall and take a deep breath, feeling lucky I made it to Canada. That was my 1st year at U of T and it was 5 years ago.

千里之行始于足下是这样的意思吗。只有开始走才会在回头看时发现已经走了好远,而不是站在原地。是这样的感觉吗?
一种好想给自己一个拥抱然后小声地说...


做得好。





欣 

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Officially 24, O.o!


生日快乐cingu,cingu cingu cingu~~~ -- May Tze!
Happy birthday Nyehhhhh!!! -- Xiao Ying
Happy birthday Yan -- Laine bi

happy birthday Kayan -- John Ong
H|a|p|p|y B|i|r|t|h|d|a|y -- Tony San
Happy birthday yo, not pass yet right -- Zi Xin

etc.

miehehehehehee... Because some people can make me jump up and down so easily. Thank you!

24岁的生日,有新朋友的蛋糕和新朋友+旧朋友+家人的祝福。Simple yet happy. Because I actually made it so far... and I am not alone. No, I didn't have to light a candle myself in a dark room. (Not that I intend to do that at all, even if I'm alone.) XD
Thankful to those who cared, no matter near or far...

=)

Much grateful,

Yan


Monday, September 28, 2015

中秋节快乐

9月28日                                  星期一                                       天气晴/月圆

中秋节快乐!

刚从朋友家回到自己的房间,静下来,有一种回头看,走了好远的欣慰。是啊,我并没有自己一个人过中秋。昨天三更半夜还出去和新朋友提灯笼,而且也不会很不好意思。变了吗。变了。不是变多话了,而是变得不再强迫自己必须要多话了。然后很潇洒的做自己。

不一样的中秋。=]




今天的月亮很圆,默默的希望那个有孩子脾气的妈妈不要再说一些伤人的话。你大概不知道,那些话有多伤人。
给每个需要关心的人。

月饼要有人一起吃才好吃。
今天的月饼很好吃。

和你们一起看看过的电影,然后让新的回忆重叠在旧的回忆上面。Mmm... 回忆它好神奇,它可以瞬间穿梭时空,立刻浮现在眼前...当某一段歌曲响起或某一段情节出现时。

新的交接点,和新的面孔。

=)

晚安,


Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Once a barista, forever a barista

Haven't been seriously homesick since I came to Melbourne, thanks to the 4 years of seasoning at Toronto. Yet, there is this one place that always comes to mind when work piles up and when I wander around the city absent-mindedly.

Tonight, I allow myself to imagine how it would be like if there's a Thirdwave here, a place where I always look forward to, a place where I want to bring the closest people around me to. sigh...

Don't often say I miss you or I miss something, at least not outwardly, but when fei zai bka replied, "we all miss you too.".......   shit. TT
And chew yeng said, "once a barista, forever a barista". How I wish. But I still want to save those animals though...

It started off with latte art, then it was coffee, and now it's more than those, it's the memories, friends and passion.

Photo credit: chee cheng the ppc3. 

It hurts to admit that I don't have the confidence to brew a good cup of coffee anymore.
Because you can't have everything. =]



The human with too many passions,

Ka Yan


Tuesday, September 1, 2015

不是为了永远而珍惜,而是因为无法永远才更珍惜

周末和只是在facebook聊过天的朋友的朋友碰面后,有一种觉悟。为什么都说网络交友和真实生活不一样。大概懂了。 不是说谁不好谁很好,只能说不是所有好的东西放在一起就会很好。言下之意是我很好,那个朋友也很好,可是我当导游他当游客就一点都不好。

套chih seng说的一句话,咖啡加糖加奶就很搭,加胡椒可能就会有点奇怪。换言之就是,我讲完。哈哈哈哈哈…

不过借这次的经验换个教训:与其选择在可以掩饰自己的网络上交朋友还不如实实在在的和在眼前的人多聊几句。或者,安静的走也可以。因为,他们至少不会对你说“你和我想象中的不一样。”==" 请不要随便往我身上贴标签。谢谢。

总是傻傻的Jesslyn和我说,留学生的朋友在毕业后就会各自离开,然后好像就没有了下文,和家乡的朋友不一样。hmm… 是的。可是不就是不可能永远所以才更要珍惜吗。

就像那段在加拿大萌芽的T0401友情,短暂却真实美丽。
永远吗?
好像…
永远不会有永远。