我回来了。

今晚，我完全属于你的。
你最好侵入我每一个脑细胞，把我的脑袋塞得满满地都是你的倩影。
我会，试着接受你。

吼！头脑黄黄的你们，我看到你们的思维咯！在想些什么有的没的！
“啪！”
正经一点。

化学，今晚我跟你没完没了！读不完，绝不休！哼！
我讲的是这些，不是你们想的那些。醒醒啦。

这一秒，无聊的简嘉欣从她隐居了一阵子的竹林钻出来了。为什么竹林，不为什么，只为喜欢。
突然有股冲动，想要无无聊聊的闹一下，只是现在是考试季节，打扰别人不好吧。
自己颓废就算了，不可以要别人跟我一起受罪。
这一点，我秉持。

想说，现在我很开心。
不为什么，就单纯的开心。
所有的问题解决了吗？所有的不懂搞懂了吗？所有的烦恼不见了吗？
没有，都没有。
那为什么开心？
因为想笑，所以开心； 因为想家，所以开心； 因为还活着，所以开心。
因为爸爸的一句话，所以开心。
“学习开心就好。”，心情超低落的我听着爸爸沉稳而安全的声音。
嘴角扬了起来，眼泪差那么一点点就掉下来。忍着。
因为这句看似简单的话告诉了我，你爱我。
不管我是谁，我做了什么，做得好不好，最重要的是你会希望我开心。
老实说，要是哪天你问我，“成绩考得怎样？”， 我想我会心痛。哈！
还好你没有。至少还没有。

对，我是个被宠坏的孩子。
一个把家人给我的自由当成理所当然的傢伙。
我知道，因为我的努力你们都看得见，所以你们从来不曾干涉我的学业，我的生活。
但是我知道你们永远都站在我的身后，默默地。
在我累了、困了的时候，让我依靠。
珍惜你们给了我的自由。

所以，我要大大声地告诉你们：
这一刻，我是开心的！

下一秒，我不晓得。可是我相信，人生起起落落，有哪个从来没有伤心过的人？
若此人存在，请到我这边来。
我会告诉他：“你不懂开心，因为你不曾伤心。”
没有山谷就不会有山峰，没有雨天就不会有彩虹。

别人的毁谤只会升华你的人格。
曾经看过这么一句话。挺有意思的。
管你怎样看我，我比谁都了解我自己。
我，问心无愧。

简嘉欣，加油！

大学新体验，太棒了。

那一刻，我不知道哪里来的勇气，异常镇定的面对那双大大的眼睛。一点都不畏惧，甚至不担心。
理直气壮地，我没有口吃，没有低头，把话说好。甚至连我自己都吓了一跳，我竟然没有一丝恐慌。
我，被指抄袭了。对，抄袭。
可是我没有！
坐在我前面的，应该是科系助理吧。向来不管别人是谁的我，还是决定不管她的职位。 把该说的，说了，该做的，做了。然后就离开那间让我突然变得大胆起来的房间。 心情莫名的空虚。
不懂到底该怎么反应。哭吗？生气吗？还是内疚？
决定放空。

直到回到房间后。静了下来，头脑才开始围着刚刚的话打转。
“你知道这很严重吗？ 你可是可以被记过，进而影响以后的大学申请。”
“那我现在可以做些什么吗？”
“现在没有办法了。”
静。身边的空气像外面的天气一样，冷得让人僵硬。
越想就越怕，开始不知所措。
电话响起，爸爸来电。完蛋了。我知道，听见他的声音只会让我更想哭。
料中了。
不要说你爱我，不要说没关系。那样我很愧疚。
至少骂骂我。让我可以把我混乱的心情转化成自卫。让我顶嘴。
可是你没有。
谢谢你。谢谢你对我的信任。
让我哭得更凶。哈哈。

算了。反正没有这样的经历，十年以后的那天，我会大大声地告诉别人，
“这，是我人生的新体验！”
即使不是令人羡慕的。

我的人生不写在纸上，是一步一脚印，一点一滴，汇集起来的经验。

后记：记过就记过，反正也没有试过。哼！谁怕谁。
（其实我在怕。）

GO go GO!!!

Just finished watching "A Bug's Life" on PPS, given myself a whole 2 hours break. Good. I'm left with about 15 minutes before I get started on physics revision. Finals is starting in 3 days time. *Tremble*...
Being nervous and predicting what might be will only increase my anxiety, hence, I've decided to do what that can still be done now.
Now.
Present.
Look at this very moment, there's nothing to be feared of. Only to think of the unknown will we be terrified, then why in the first place think about it? =)

In less than 10 days time and I'm done! Looking forward to making snowman and snow-tomato! XD
Promised Jun Wen that I'll make him a snowman. Promised tomato a snow-tomato! haha... Promised Ephraem a christmas gift. Just wait, I keep my promises.
(p/s: Tomato, maybe not.)

No more slacking, no more procrastinating.
Go go Go!!!

雪·幸运·想念

下雪了。

跑在上学的路上，棉花般的雪花落在脸颊上，冰冰的。快迟到了！
无心欣赏它的美。

走在沿路长着大棵大棵树的小径上，看着黑黑的松鼠，大力吸一口气，精神为之一振。
一群低飞的鸽子冲着我来。
“噼噼啪啪”,那是飞翔的声音。
我听见了。

雪花继续飘落，无声、无息。落在手掌心，瞬间溶化。
很美。
曾经，只有在电视荧幕才看得见的雪；如今，它就在眼前：看得见、碰得到。
惊觉，我是幸运的。
回过头，身边没有熟悉的身影，只有我。
要是你们都在就好。
白痴的笑了一下，迈开脚步，继续往前走。
把对你们的思念存好，作为我生活的养分。

发现自己好像长大了，虽然心里那个孩子还活着。
终于了解飞翔是要付出代价的。
既然决定翱翔，就要准备面对那无可预测的气流，顺流或逆流。
我，不怕。

等我，看我飞回你们的怀抱。^^

哦。

不同的歌曲勾起不同的回忆；不同的倩影让我想起不同的你；不同的环境却改变不了同样的我。 还是一样的粗心大意，还是一样的乱七八糟，还是一样的无聊，喜欢闹人。只是你们都不在，我闹谁去？能够忍受我“烦死人不偿命唠唠叨叨东西做不完”的ah ma在远方的那里。原意听我大喊大唱、歌大声到整间屋子都听得见的家人也不在这里。可以让我有事没事就去看一眼、摸一下的Money现在大概在太阳底下享受着日光浴吧。我是谁它搞不好都不记得了。可是我想它。

床单洗了，随着那洗衣机的打转，家的味道也不见了。感觉更空虚了。还好，还有bobo和pillow. 哈哈。

大姑告诉我说你喝汤时总会想起我。心里抽了一下。我也很想你啊！想你的声音、你的味道、你的肩膀。还有你的厨艺！ah ma...

你叫我用功。给我飞吻。哦！
爸爸叫我不要给自己太大的压力。哦！
mummy说会帮我收红包。哦！
hou hou 叫我早睡。哦！（==“）
woof woof!!! 哦！

A day off.

Life's been pretty hectic lately, sometimes to the extent that I'd lost in the midst of all the things which're going on. Nothing is going perfectly well, nothing is wrong either. Depending on how I want to view it. And, fortunately, I've learnt how to balance myself, mentally, to not over stress or to over slack. Credit. Yet one step higher in the stairs of life. =)

Today's a Thursday. I decided to give myself a day off. Went for a free movie screening together with a few of my friends. The movie, titled " The Cove", is a documentary about dolphin killings. It's good to know that there are people who are protecting the rights of animals, but it's disappointing to know that there are also people who are totally ignorant of animal rights and continue with their senseless, brutal acts which they claim to be their culture. ==" It boils my blood to see how merciless dolphin hunters can be. They stab dolphins as though they are stabbing some lifeless object, devoid of any feeling. Such is an act of pest eradication, so-called. Since when have dolphins turned into pest? Sigh. Something has to be done.

Apart from feeling rather unmotivated and indolent, I'm good. =) wakaka... Tomorrow's Friday! yeah, despite the upcoming calculus test on Wednesday. Yeah. I like weekends.

Miss home still the same. =) Something to be happy over, that's because I have a home! Literally and idiomatically.

Signing off to a shower.

Hello, midterms... =)

Midterms are approaching in less than 3 days time. First up, chemistry, followed by music, then biology and physics. I am feeling somewhat relaxed, or rather, lazy. The usual situation that I experience. Whenever exams are nearing, I am inclined to watch more dramas, to spend my time doing something else than the supposed revising. Heck! Still can't change that.
When it's morning, I will have a sense that the day is still young, thus, procrastinate. Then, by the time I realise the sun's set, I'd start to fumble. Darkness crawls in and that's when I will start to regret not having well-spent my day. Finally, ending my day with textbooks around me on my bed. XD The "kayan-ness". If only the sun never sets. Thinking ahead, two more weeks and midterms're over! Then I am temporarily freed of exams for a while. And, by the time I've got these done, it will be then the end of October. Yet another month. =) wakakaka...

Another thing that made my day today was hearing Ethan plays the piano. He's so super duper awesome! I am impressed, completely. The first song he played, "Fantasie Impromptu" by Chopin. Stunned. That's how I must have looked like. Without a score, with almost nil error. His fingers played the keyboard as though they are born to be there. The touch, the flexibility. How beautifully presented. Stupefied I am for I have tried that song ages ago and given up on it. Haha... And now, once again, I am inspired to give it another try. Ethan, you're simply great! =)

That's it, signing off to bed. Or, probably to nightmares with textbooks. Haha! Miss the weather back in Malaysia, the food and most of all, the people!